Waiting for Tomorrow
by Decadebaby
Summary: Waiting is never easy - especially when someone's life hangs in the balance. Jill Danko has spent a fair amount of her life waiting, and tonight is no different.
1. Chapter 1

Jill Danko resignedly cleared the table, putting the food back in the refrigerator. She sighed, hoping that everything would keep. She imagined that her fresh baked rolls wouldn't hold up though. After all was put away, she sat down at the table alone. She leaned on the table, resting a slim hand against her cheek, contemplating the plate in front of her. She wasn't really all that hungry anymore.

She rose from the table, taking the wine glass with her and settled on the couch instead. She wasn't angry. She understood her husband's job, and it wasn't uncommon for a phone call to interrupt dinner. Still, it was a dinner she'd been looking forward to all week. It wasn't often that her day off coordinated with his. She'd spent all afternoon cooking and getting ready. She was generally happy to cook for her three men - as she sometimes thought of them. They had just sat down to eat when the phone interrupted with a shrill ring, and she knew before he even picked up the phone; before he even turned to look at her with guilty eyes; knew that they wouldn't eat the pot roast she had made.

She set down the salad bowl she'd been holding and turned to face him; face the news with a smile.

"Sorry, babe." He said, looking decidedly hang-dog. "C'mon fellas." He had said turning to Willie and Terry.

Sheepishly, they had risen and with apologies had left quickly saying, "We'll meet you downstairs, Mike." No doubt their quick getaway, an attempt to avoid her anger.

"I'm really sorry." He said again, his hands resting on her shoulders.

"That's okay." She said cheerfully - or at least trying to sound cheerful. "It'll keep." She smiled up into his warm eyes.

"I don't know when . . ." He began.

"I'll be here, either way." She said. "You better go."

"Yeah, okay." He said squeezing her shoulders and leaning in for a kiss. "Sorry." He said again before he released her and turned to head out the door.

"Mike," She said softly, stopping him just as he opened the door. He turned to look at her. "You don't have to apologize. It is really okay. I understand."

He met her eyes, and she could see his whole body relax. "Yeah?" He asked with eyebrows raised.

"Yeah." She said with a quick nod of her head. He reached out for her hand and lifting it, kissed her palm. "Be safe." She added, her constant, low-level fear eeking out.

"Always." He said with a wink.

She shook her head. "Never, you mean." She laughed.

"Don't start." He responded, laughing.

"Superhero complex." She said with a grin.

"Some women find that very attractive." He said squeezing her fingers again.

"Get outta here." She said with a gentle shove, her hand on his chest.

"See ya later." He said.

"Maybe." She said closing the door to his surprised, wide eyes, and laughing still she had returned to clear the table.

***R***

"She mad?" Willie asked him, as he came down the stairs.

"Nope." Mike said climbing into the driver's seat. "She was cheerfully understanding."

"Oh, great!" Terry moaned from the passenger seat. "Now I feel like a complete jerk! It's better when she's mad."

"Yep." Mike agreed.

"We can make it up to her." Willie said from the back seat. Both Terry and Mike turned to look at their him.

"You are such a kid, Rookie." Terry commented as Mike pulled away from the apartment complex.

"What?" Willie asked.

"She spent all day cooking, got everything ready and the second we sat down the phone rang and we bolted." Mike said as he maneuvered through traffic. "She knows where we're going too." He sighed. "How do you think the three of us are gonna mange making up for the dinner, and the next hours she's gonna spend trying to convince herself that none of us are gonna get shot?"

"Flowers?" Willie asked with raised eyebrows.

"That'd be one hell of a bouquet!" Terry shook his head with a glance at Mike.

"Not enough flowers in the world, for a cop's wife." Mike said.

"Never." Terry agreed with a shrug.

"Guess we'd better just not get ourselves killed then." Willie said.

"It would only be considerate." Terry agreed.

"How do you ever convince women to go out with you?" Mike asked meeting Willie's eyes in the rearview mirror.

"With my good looks?" Willie asked. "Plus I got that uniform."

Mike shook his head with a glance at Terry as they pulled into the station. But even as they laughed together, even as they strode up the steps of the building, his mind was on Jill; her beautiful eyes looking proud and fearful all at the same time.

***R***

She finally fell asleep on the couch. She couldn't explain what it was about _this_ night. They'd left before; dashed off leaving her behind, but she had such a strange feeling of worry. Fear was something she lived with every day. It wasn't just that he was a cop. It was Mike; part of who he was. He wouldn't back down from a situation if it meant he could help someone; save someone. Maybe it was the after effects of the war and his guilt over the ones he couldn't save. Maybe it _was_ a superhero complex. Maybe it was just the way he was since the day he'd been born - a man determined to set things right - no matter what the cost.

It filled her with pride. She was proud of him - the kind of man he was. He was an old fashioned man in a modern world. Even his determination to marry her - not just live together like so many young people were doing nowadays. He wanted to do things right - put a ring on her hand and sign a legal document to be by her side forever. She found it intoxicating. She wasn't used to men treating her with respect; it hadn't really been her experience up until him.

But fear was part of the deal. He might wade into a situation that was over his head. He might walk into a fire-fight and never walk out. He might put the needs of someone else above his own. She knew he was a cop and she recognized what that might mean before she'd married him, but living with it day-after-day was another thing.

It wasn't something that was ever spoken of either. At least not among the other cops wives. Of course, they weren't really all that quick to embrace her. She was younger than them, and Mike was just about the only rookie who was married. They would smile at her at the luncheons and parties with wise, knowing eyes. But none of them had said one word about the fear. They laughed in their beautiful, elaborate, conservative, respectable cop's wife clothes and talked of children and recipes. She nodded and played along, trying not to seem childish, but she wanted to ask them - hell, she wanted to scream at them, "How? How do you sleep? How can you eat? How do you put that smile across your face when you know they are chasing down some psychopath who just might smile at them and then turn right around and shoot them?" But she never did.

She wished there was someone she could call now - in the middle of the night - to listen to a friendly voice. It was times like now that she wished she had a different family, or that Mike had a better relationship with his. She wished she could call her mother-in-law up on the phone and admit to her how terrified she was. Then they could commiserate together. But she imagined her mother-in-law's tight, formal voice, "One does not call after eight o'clock! It simply isn't done!" Of course, the person she _could_ call on the phone and cry to was Mike - he was the only one she trusted that much - and of course, he was the _one_ person she could NEVER admit those fears to. She couldn't have him distracted at work - worrying over her.

She curled up on the couch, pulling the blanket over her legs. She couldn't face the bed alone tonight. It would remind her where she wished he was, and remind her of what dangers he might be facing even as she lay in their warm bed, safe. She had clicked on the tv and as her eyes drifted closed, the news began.

"Police are in a standoff near a warehouse on East 82nd street. Officials report that the men inside are believed to be heavily armed and . . ."

She clicked the tv off, terrified, trying to erase the image of that dark neighborhood surrounded by flashing lights. She hated the news - especially when they sent out a helicopter to capture the scene live. She didn't need pictures to go with her fears. She remembered hearing a story from a cousin who had been visiting with a friend when an image flashed across the tv screen of another group of soldiers who'd been killed in Vietnam. Her cousin had said her friend had dropped to the floor in a dead faint, as they both realized the picture included her husband. It was nearly two days later, that the Marines had finally come to her door to tell her what she already knew.

Jill prayed that would never happen to her. She laid back down on the couch, trying to stem her fear. Fighting the urge to flip the tv back on, or worse yet find a way to drive right down to that warehouse. She imagined Mike's reaction with a laugh. He'd kill her! But still she pictured herself dashing into harms way, pushing Mike aside as a bullet aimed for him, hit her instead.

***R***

The sunlight pouring in woke her, and she stretched lazily, at first not remembering why she was on the couch. She sighed and went into the kitchen to make coffee. She didn't bother to check the bedroom. He wasn't home. If he had come home during the night, he would've kissed her awake - she was sure of that. She sighed, glancing at the clock. 5:42 a.m. She shuddered suddenly. Why had she read the time that way? So specifically? Why was she so frightened? She pushed dark thoughts from her mind and decided on a hot shower.

An hour later she snapped on the news, telling herself she would just check the weather but she knew it was a lie. She sat down, coffee in hand, her eyes on the screen, waiting to see if there was any news; hoping there wasn't any and wishing there was. Unfortunately, all she saw was a bunch of commercials. Feeling a rising tide of anxiety, she clicked off the tv. She had decided to forget about everything and start some laundry. Her shift didn't start until two, so she had plenty of time to get something done. She had just turned to grab the dirty clothes when the doorbell rang. She glanced at the clock - 7:18. Who would come by this early. She tried to act like nothing was wrong, but as she reached out to open the door, she saw her fingers trembling.

"Who's there?" She asked a catch in her voice, as she swung open the door.

She stood completely silent staring into the eyes of Lieutenant Ryker. She lifted a hand trying to grab a hold of something, but everything around her began to spin, and then it all went black.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mrs. Danko? Mrs. Danko."

She opened her eyes to Lt. Ryker kneeling in front of her. She glanced around confused, but found she was sitting on her couch. _Why was Ryker here? Where was Mike?_ The fog in her brain slowly cleared.

"Apparently, a shoot-out has occurred at the warehouse . . ." The tv brought her back to a grim reality. Ryker rose and snapped the tv off.

"Why are you here?" She asked sitting up.

"Drink some water." He said anxiously, handing her a glass. She pushed it aside.

"No. Why are you here?" She ducked her head fighting down tears. "He's dead." She whispered softly.

"Mrs. Danko . . ." He began kneeling in front of her again.

"He's dead." She repeated loudly and angrily.

"No." Ryker said, rubbing his neck with the his hand. "No. We don't know what happened. They were ambushed. They were taken hostage. We heard gunfire."

"What do they want?"

"What . . ." He studied her, surprised by her strength.

"The men who took them, what do they want in exchange?" She said coldly.

"A way out - a helicopter and some money." He said numbly.

"We have $1200 in our savings." She chewed the corner of her lip, and ran a hand through her hair.

"Mrs. Danko." He shook his head. "Mrs. Danko."

"Maybe Mike's parents . . ."

"They want half a million dollars, but it isn't going to come to that." He told her. "We are going to get them out of there. You just have to wait."

She looked up at him sharply at the word "wait", her eyes filling with tears.

"But maybe if we pay," She whispered desperately. "Maybe they'll let them go."

"Is there someone I can call?" He asked her. "Family? A friend to come and stay with you?"

"Yes." The tears began to roll down her face. "You can call Mike."

Ryker let out a long sigh. "We don't know if he was shot. We don't know if anyone was shot."

"But you came here to me." She said. "Why did you leave? Who's in charge down there?"

"My superior took over." He moved and sat beside her on the couch. "There must be someone I can call."

"I want to go down there."

"No, that's not possible, and you know it."

"They always need medical personnel." She argued.

"Mrs. Danko . . ." He shook his head. "Not you. You know it can't be you. I'm sorry. You have to wait."

"Can I wait at the station?" She asked him.

"Mrs. Danko . . ."

"What about Willie and Terry? Are they hostages too?"

"Willie is with Mike. Terry was . . . he's injured."

"Where is he?" She asked, rising suddenly. "Is he at Memorial?"

"Yes, I was coming to . . ."

"Can you drive me there, please?" She asked. "I don't . . ." Her eyes welled with fresh tears. "Mike took the car."

Ryker rose amazed by her strength. He rose and said, "Of course." He put a hand on her arm. "It started raining. You'll need a sweater." He added gently. She nodded numbly and took a sweater from the closet, sliding her arms into it absently. As they stepped out the door together, without any thought, she reached for Ryker's hand. He swallowed a lump in his throat thinking, not for the first time, that maybe it was a mistake to befriend these rookies. He glanced at the side of her face as she reached up with her other hand and wiped tears from her eyes. _She was so damn young! They all were! Nothing but a bunch of babies wearing badges!_

"We'll do everything we can. I promise it, Mrs. Danko." He told her.

She turned to look at him with just the hint of a sad smile across her features. "I really think you ought to call me Jill." He nodded and squeezed her fingers.

"He's a good cop, Jill." He told her. "I know he's just a rookie, but he's got good instincts." He opened the car door for her, and helped her inside. She looked up at him with wide, dark, tear-filled eyes.

"I know my husband, Eddie." She said quietly. "His instincts are to put Willy's safety above his own. He'll make sure the kid is okay first, and you know it."

He studied her thoughtfully, trying to find something to comfort her. She was right of course. It was the same thing Terry had said. He chewed the corner of his lip wishing that this whole day could just start over. He hadn't expected facing her to be easy. It was never easy facing down a cop's wife and telling her that her husband may or may not be dead, but she was different. He'd let himself become friends with them; with her. She was just a few years older than the daughter he'd lost and part of him always saw her that way. It didn't help that she was infinitely sweet, but with just enough spunk to remind him of his own Mary Kate. Seeing them together always reminded him of that time in his life; his dearest friend always waiting at home for him. He could see that it was the same for the Dankos.

"But it isn't just Mike making the decisions." He said to her at last. "He isn't alone, Jill. We are gonna work to get them out; _ both_ of them."

***R***

"Lie still!" The nurse said pushing Terry back down. "You are going to make things worse!" He struggled and fought against her.

"I need an orderly!" The nurse shouted over her shoulder.

"No, you don't." Hearing the voice, Terry immediately stopped his struggle. "He's gonna lie nice and still now, aren't you?" Jill asked looking down at him.

"Yeah." He whispered, his dark eyes wide and . . . guilty. "Jill . . ."

"Hush, now." She said softly, moving close to his head, so that the nurse could examine his wounded leg. "Were you shot?"

"Shrapnel." He said.

"Shrapnel?" She asked, her voice cracking on the word. "They must have some pretty big weapons if it is causing . . ."

"He'll be okay." Terry interrupted her. "He is smart. He survived the war."

"Close your eyes and rest." She said ignoring him. She rubbed his cheek with the back of her hand. "That leg has got to be causing you a great deal of pain. Just rest, Terry."

"He was okay when they took him inside. I could see him, Jill. He wasn't hit." He reassured her, trying to pull himself up to a sitting position.

"Lie still!" The nurse said, and Jill put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back down.

"Okay, Terry. Okay." She said soothingly. "You lie down."

He lay back down, but his eyes never left hers. He could see how terrified she was. Her skin was ghostly white, and her large eyes seemed to have doubled in size. There were tracks of tears, but she wasn't crying now. She was keeping herself together. He recognized it. He'd seen it once before, when Willie had been hurt. She'd rushed around his hospital room, fussing and somehow managing to be all business. At the time, he'd been impressed with her ability to keep it together. He'd gone out into the hall, barely hanging onto his emotions - seeing the kid busted up like he was and had found Mike rushing to meet him.

"_The kid okay?" He'd asked._

"_He's gonna be. Jill's with him now." Terry had told him. "It was pretty close there for a bit."_

"_She okay?" _

"_She's tough as nails. I don't know how she does it! I'm shaking! She's in there fussing and taking care of everything."_

"_Oh." Mike said shaking his head sadly. "It's just an act, Terry." He'd said. They'd both headed into the room then and Willy, was still asleep._

"_Hey, Kid." Mike said moving to stand beside him. "You get better." He glanced over at Jill, who, Terry noticed, wasn't meeting his eyes. She continued to fuss checking and rechecking his IV._

"_Hey," Mike said softly to her. "Babe?"_

"_He'll be okay. They thought he might have broken his back, but he didn't. He's gonna be mighty sore, though. That was a long fall." Her voice was all business, and she still didn't meet Mike's eyes._

"_Knock it off, Nurse Danko." Mike said stepping closer to her, and putting his hand on her arm. Terry watched shocked and amazed, as her eyes welled with tears, and her facade of fearlessness fell away. One lone tear slid down her face, and Mike reached out with a tender hand and wiped it away. She fell into his arms then, sobbing, and Terry had stepped out into the hall then, stunned by the intimacy._

"You mind holding my hand, there, Nurse Danko?" He asked watching her eyes grow wide with surprise at his request. "I don't know about you, but today is starting out pretty bad, and I'm feeling a little bit scared."

"Yes." She said reaching for his hand, and wiping a lone tear that slid down her cheek. "Me, too."

He squeezed her fingers, and closed his eyes - mostly to avoid seeing the pain and anguish in hers.

"_Not enough flowers in the world for a cop's wife!"_ Was it just yesterday Mike had said that?

***R***

She stayed at the hospital, waiting with Terry. When they had wheeled him to surgery to take out the small bits of shrapnel, she'd paced the waiting room, avoiding the tvs. She knew Ryker would come to her. He had promised he would bring news whenever he could. He was trustworthy, she knew that, and the news got things wrong most of the time. She was pacing when the head nurse came to her.

"Jill, do you want some coffee? How about something to eat?" But Jill had simply shook her head.

"You can lie down, if you want."

"No, Mrs. Conners." She had replied. She could never manage to call the head nurse by her first name. She was a tough administrator and the best nurse Jill had ever worked with.

"I took you off the rotation for the time being." Nurse Conners continued. "If you need anything, anyone of the girls can find me; even if I'm off duty." She reached out and squeezed Jill's shoulder.

Jill looked up surprised by the warm, compassion. "Thank you." She responded shakily.

"I'll say prayers for your husband." The head nurse said before she turned to walk away.

Jill watched her go until she had disappeared around the corner, and then resumed her pacing.

"No one can say for sure what has happened inside that warehouse." The news man's voice filled the silent waiting room. "Officials aren't speaking with us just now. But we've heard several unconfirmed reports that more gunfire has been heard from inside the warehouse. And although we can't speculate on what has happened, one thing is sure, gunfire can't be good news for the two officers held inside."

She stood frozen, her eyes on the tv, as they flashed pictures of both Mike and Willy across the screen. Her eyes locked onto Mike's in the picture - even in a serious shot like this one, she could see the hint of laughter hiding in those sweet, beautiful eyes. She forced herself to turn away, and heard a man say near her, "Those poor officers. They are probably already dead."

She looked at him horrified. "Why would you say that?" She whispered.

"Why would they keep them alive?" He said looking at her surprised. "No one knows what's happening inside. They could get what they want and just tell the police they are still alive."

"But they need them to get away."

"Lady, do you know them?" He asked seeing how upset she was. "Look, I don't know anything. I was just talking." And clearly, uncomfortable he rose and left the room.

***R***

He found her sitting with Terry, who was asleep. He tried to step into the room quickly so as not to alarm her, but of course seeing him there filled her with dread.

"Mike's not dead." He began trying to keep things as honest and straightforward as possible. "He'll be okay?" He asked indicating Terry.

"It was just shrapnel. He's got some wounds, but he'll recover." She said rising. "Why are you here? What has happened?"

"You haven't been watching the news, then?" Lt. Ryker asked her.

"No. Too scared." She admitted. "I heard there was more gunfire."

"There's been internal fighting with the group." He explained.

"How do you know?" She asked anxiously, fearing his answer.

"They sent Willie out to us. He seems alright - a little bruised maybe. He said he's fine."

She studied him, waiting. She knew he was waiting for her to ask, but she didn't want too - didn't want to hear the answer or know it.

"Wha . . wha . . what about Mike?" She asked at last.

He glanced at Terry who still slept. "Let's go into the hall." He said gently.

"No!" The response burst out of her. "Tell me!"

"Jill," He began.

"Eddie! Don't . . .don't . . .don't make me keep asking!" This sentence came out as a whisper, but harsh.

"Sit down, Jill." He said easing her back into the chair. "Willie said that he'd . . .he's been shot, Jill."

He had expected her to explode at him and become hysterical. Instead, she dropped her head and began to quietly cry. Somehow, that was much worse than the yelling he'd imagined. He knelt in front of her.

"He said that Mike's hanging in, and he was able to stop the blood." He hesitated on the word.

"But time is running out." She said meeting his eyes.

"Yeah," He admitted. "We are working on it, though."

She glanced at the clock. It was nearly four. They'd been "working on it" for nearly a day now.

"I know." He said looking at the clock, too. "Jill, I'm going to get him out. _I_ promise it. _I do._ No matter, what. I swear it."

"I know." She said softly, and he was stunned by her composure and her compassion toward him.

"Mike'll be okay." Terry said from his bed and they both turned surprised that he was awake. "He's the most stubborn man I've ever met, and when it comes to you . . ."

"You should be resting." She said coming to stand beside him. "How do you feel?"

"How do _I_ feel? Jesus, Jill! I got a hangnail on my toe that's bugging me some." He said sarcastically. "Lieutenant, you believe her?" He turned toward Ryker.

"Terry . . ." She began. "I'm just . . .it's easier to worry about you. I can do something to help _you_."

"Yeah." He said nodding his head, as Ryker put an arm around her shoulders. He squeezed her gently, and wasn't at all surprised as she leaned into him.

"I need to head back." Ryker said to her. "I wanted to tell you in person - I was afraid you'd see it on the news. You got that number I gave you? Dispatch will put you straight through to me. I told them it is priority one."

"Yes." She said patting her pocket.

"You'll be here?" He asked her. "You can keep an eye on him for me. Make sure he rests."

"Yes." She said glancing at Terry, who was drifting back to sleep.

"Alright then." He sighed glancing at her. "You need anything else?"

_Mike_ she thought. _I need Mike_.

"No." She shook her head.

He squeezed her shoulder one more time, and then throwing all attempts at "professionalism" in the trash, leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"I'll get him out, honey. I swear it."

"Yes, sir." She said softly. He sighed and turned to leave her, but just as she reached the door she called out to him.

"Lieutenant?' She asked.

"Yes?"

"Could you do one favor for me?"

"Anything." He said.

"Could you go with me to the chapel and pray? Just for a minute?" And unable to speak, he had simply nodded and held his hand out to hers.


	3. Chapter 3

Willie was desperate. He had long ago abandoned any pretense of toughness or surety. He was simple a desperate man with a dangerously ill friend and he wanted to go home. He glanced down at Mike beside him who looked gray and shivered with cold. He pulled the coat around him again, careful of his wound.

"Hang in there, man." He said looking down, but Mike offered no response.

He glanced around again. Things had settled down into an uneasy tension since the argument had broken out. He knew if he looked behind him toward the back of the warehouse, he would see the bodies of the three men who had led the uprising against the leader. He didn't like to think about it too much. One of them had been the same age as him. It was times like this that made him doubt his decision to join the force. He always seemed more burdened down with the weight of the darkness that they faced. As angry as he was about being in this situation, as angry as he was about Mike being shot, he still felt sorrow over the men who had taken them.

"Jill?" Mike asked again.

Willie sighed. Mike's fever had risen and with it he had become somewhat delirious - calling out for Jill again and again. It shattered whatever toughness Willie had left.

"It's me man." He told him, leaning closer. "It's Willie."

"Goo . . ." He shivered violently. "Good. Too ugly to be Jill."

"That's the truth." Willie agreed. "Drink some water." He said handing him the small cup they'd given the two of them to share.

"If you get a cha . . .chance," Mike said through chattering teeth. "Go."

"Stop talking like that." Willie said. "We'll get out of here just wait."

"Look for chaos." Mike continued. "Tha . . . that's your chance."

"I'm not leaving you behind." Willie told him. "You are talking crazy, man. There's no way."

"Tell J. . .J . . .Jill . . ."

"Jill would have my hide if I left you behind. Forget it Mike. Quit talking. Save your strength."

"Stuff I wanna say."

"Great, tell her later yourself." Willie felt an unreasonable anger rising. "Forget it, Mike! I'm not a damn messenger boy! You tell your wife yourself." His raised voice drew the attention of their captors who whispered to each other, their angry eyes on the two of them.

"Shut up man." He whispered to Mike. "They're coming this way."

"Is he dead, yet?" The brown-haired one asked him.

"Nope. Alive and kicking." Willie said trying to sound nonchalant.

The man leaned closer, looking down at Mike. He kicked at Mike's foot with his boot. "He don't look so good. Won't be long now."

"Nah, he always looks like that." Willie said and he watched as their captor shook his head and walked away again.

"Don't like us much." Mike gasped out.

"Not much, no." Willie agreed. He sighed and looked around again. _They had to get out here! Mike wouldn't last much longer._

***R***

Jill Danko had completely lost all track of time. She didn't know how long it had been since she had swung open her front door to find Lieutenant Ryker standing before her. She had no idea if it was night or day anymore. She simply spent every minute beside Terry - first waiting for him to awaken from his surgery, and then to help him as he struggled to recover. She knew some time must have passed for the surgery was behind him, and now he was fully conscious. He was now experiencing a fair amount of pain but he pretended that he was fine. She studied him now, seeing him wince with pain when he thought she wasn't looking.

"You need more pain medicine." She said to him.

"I'm fine." He muttered but his voice was strained with pain.

"No, you aren't. Don't be stubborn, Terry. I'm a nurse, you know. You shouldn't suffer if you don't need to. I'll get your nurse." She rose and came back with a young blond nurse who immediately gave him a shot.

"No, I don't . . ." He said, but they both ignored him. The blond nurse disappeared almost as quickly as she had arrived.

"Don't try and hide it." Jill smoothed the blankets around him. "Anyone with any sense can see right through it, okay?"

"I got no right to complain." Terry explained.

"You'll feel better soon and it isn't complaining." Jill said, standing beside his bed. "Tell me next time, okay?"

"How can I . . . when they . . .?" He asked her. "It isn't right. Mike's . . ." He stopped himself as at the sound of her husband's name, Jill drew in a sharp breath.

"I'm sorry." He said groggily. The medicine was already beginning to kick in. "Jill, he'll be . . ."

"You should sit back and rest." She said brusquely. "Stop talking and rest."

"You're one to tell me to stop hiding." He said softly. "Don't try and hide it." He threw her own words back at her. "Anyone with any sense can see right though it."

"Terry." She warned him. "I can't . . .not now."

"Then . . . stop . . . picking . . . on . . .me." His eyes drifted shut against his will.

Jill bit her lip and fought down another threatening wave of tears. She sank back into the chair, her eyes on Terry, but she wasn't thinking of him or even really seeing him. She was thinking of Mike's beautiful blue eyes, and how it felt when he smiled at her. She was trying to remember again what she had said to him just as he had walked out the door. It seemed years ago now, that they had all sat down for dinner; a lifetime. She was grateful that she hadn't been angry when they had all left. Sometimes she was and it would be horrible to be sitting where she was now waiting for him and remember the unkind way they'd said goodbye.

Before Terry and Willie had come over, they'd had a whole day off together. They'd spent the first half in bed - some of it even sleeping, and the other half shopping together - looking for a mirror for the hallway. She was happy that he was willing to come along. Shopping wasn't high on Mike's list of the perfect day off, but then on the way back he'd driven them out to the beach, and they'd spent an hour or two walking along the waves together. She thought of it almost constantly now - that whole day. She remembered the feeling of his hand in hers and the soft sand beneath their feet - the sound of his voice, low and mellow as they talked - the sound of his laughter. She was fortunate - usually their days consisted of brief minutes in passing - a kiss on the way out the door with a wave and a "I'll see you tonight!" At least, if nothing else, she would have the memory of a good day spent together. She glanced around the room again, feeling restless.

She wandered down the hall without any real destination, but when a few of the nurses - her friends - looked like they might walk to her to offer concerns and comfort - she quickened her pace as though she had a destination in mind. She found herself outside the chapel then. She hadn't been back since she and Ryker and come here. She had clung tightly to his hand like a small, frightened child as they had prayed for Willy, Terry and Mike.

She wished that all of this were some terrible nightmare and she would open her eyes and find him sleeping beside her - snoring. God! She would give anything if her biggest problem right now was trying to fall asleep to the sound of his snores.

She sat down on the last pew in the little chapel, staring at the cross at the front. She couldn't think of a single word to pray. Part of her was able to see that she was coming undone - certainly the nurse side of her recognized that she was a young woman in a high stress situation who hadn't slept or really eaten in days - she was a woman on the verge of collapse. She could feel it - her resolve to stay strong faltering.

She studied the cross again thinking, "_Why, God, why? He's such a good man. He's the best man I know. Why would you let him be shot? Why would you let evil take him? Please, please bring him home to me! Please!"_

She rose quickly, recognizing that if she spent too much more time here, she would most definitely fall apart completely. She turned intending to go back to Terry's room and wait, but instead she saw Lt. Ryker walking down the hall toward her.

***R***

"Listen, man." Mike whispered. "Too long now."

"Shh. Be quiet."

"No. Gonna end soon. They can't hold out." He gave a half-hearted attempt at a chuckle. "Me either."

"Stop saying that!" Willie's voice rose in frustration.

"Kid. Sorry." Mike reached out and rested on Willy's arm. "You're the only way to talk to Jill."

Willie sighed feeling the intense burden of facing her; Mike's wife; Mike's widow. He thought of Jill's big brown eyes and the way they always rested on Mike. When he'd first met her, he'd been so intimidated. She was so beautiful that he found talking to her difficult. She was unbelievably sweet, but there was an underlying toughness, and he knew without her ever saying one word that if he _ever _let anything happen to Mike - he'd have to answer to her; which was exactly what he was facing.

He and Terry both teased Mike mercilessly - an old married man always running home to his wife. But in truth, they were both jealous. It wasn't just that Jill was an absolute knockout - those big brown eyes, and vast ocean of beautiful, brown hair, but it was so much more than that. She was completely devoted to her husband. Just one look at the two of them together, and anyone could see they were solidly connected; united. Willie couldn't imagine what that would feel like - to have someone so devoted at your side every day. He couldn't imagine one without the other - which was just what Mike was imaging right now. Willie tried to imagine how desperate Mike must feel - afraid that he was leaving her behind; leaving her alone.

"Okay, man." Willie relented. "Lay it on me."

"Tell her . . .I'm sorry." Mike's voice was so faint now, and yet in passing this message along, it seemed to gain a small sliver of strength. "I can't . . .I can't explain how much I love her - not if I had hundreds of years. I love her smile and her laugh, and the way she brushes her teeth."

Willie looked at Mike with eyebrows raised.

"No, man. She scrunches up her nose - it's . . .never mind. Leave that out. Just make sure and tell her how much I . . ." He looked up into Willie's face. "You are so young. Ryker was right. You are just a baby."

"Hey, Mike." Willie said beginning to feel a rising tide of panic. "Don't quit, man. C'mon. You can't just leave Jill like this. She'll be . . .hang in there."

"You are gonna be a good cop William." Mike's blue eyes were filled with tears. "Keep an eye on Jill. You and Terry both. Promise me you'll make sure my girl is happy. That's all I want. God! Her smile! You tell her I only want her happy." His eyes locked on Willie's in desperation. "Don't ever get married, Willie. You'll just break that girl's heart as she watches you rush out into danger. She's spent so much time worrying. I . . .this is just what she feared, and I won't be there to . . . I'm sorry." Mike's eyes closed. "I'm sorry. Baby, you can't know how sorry I am."

Willie fought down tears as he listened to Mike repeat over and over, "I'm sorry." He knew that they were out of time now. Mike would be dead by morning. He thought again of Jill, remembering walking with her into the station house last year when Mike had been taken hostage on that Sunday afternoon. She had leaned heavily against him and Terry, and yet had remained composed. He had been stunned by her strength.

He couldn't face her and tell her the things Mike had said. He couldn't face her and tell her that all her world had been destroyed by an idiotic band of gangsters who couldn't manage to keep from fighting one another. He couldn't let Mike and Jill be torn apart. He _had_ to do something!

He looked up sharply at the sound of a comotion. He couldn't tell if there was activity coming from outside, but he could hear the sounds of another argument. What had Mike told him? _Wait for chaos? _Well, chaos was here. Now, was there chance.


	4. Chapter 4

Eddie Ryker had been searching for Jill Danko for nearly ten minutes when he saw her step out of the small hospital chapel. She looked even thinner which seemed impossible. Every time he saw her, he wanted to buy her a pie and make her eat it, and now, with the stress of the last fifty hours, she seemed to have shrunk down smaller. He knew seeing him, would frighten her, but he didn't want anyone else talking to her. She trusted him.

"Jill." He called as she turned and saw him. He expected her to faint, as she had at the apartment, but instead she drew in a deep breath, squared her shoulders and walked to him.

"What happened?" She asked looking up at him with enormously hopeful brown eyes.

"They're bringing him in. He's alive, but it is pretty bad." He reached out and put a steadying hand on her arm.

"Downstairs? In emergency?" Her voice pitched high.

"He should be there any minute." He looked at her face, which was tight and pale. "I'll walk you down."

"Willie okay?" She asked. "How'd they . . ." She lifted a hand to her forehead and he could see her fingers trembling.

"Come on, honey." He said gently, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and leading her to the elevator.

***R***

Jill made the familiar walk down the hospital corridor numbly. She knew Lt. Ryker was beside her, but she couldn't hear anything or anyone. Her eyes roved from face to face, and her brain registered that both the head nurse, and her good friend Melissa were waiting for her in the emergency area, but she didn't speak to them. Her heart pounded and her eyes searched everywhere for just one face.

"Breathe, Jill." Melissa said, and Jill realized only then she'd been holding her breath. They heard the sirens and the buzz of people moving, preparing for an incoming patient; an incoming patient in critical condition.

The door burst open, startling her, and she was surrounded by the controlled chaos of bringing a patient in. They swarmed around the bed, and she couldn't see anything at all. She hung back, half-afraid of what she would see, but then they moved and she could see.

Mike

Everything stopped for her then. She couldn't hear any voices, couldn't see anyone but him. His face was so ghostly white, his eyes closed. She could see the blood on his chest. _Oh, God! Was it a chest wound?_ Her thoughts ran wild, and she tried to silence that part of her brain that had spent years studying and evaluating symptoms and injuries. She wished she could see his clear blue eyes. She longed for the deep mellowness of his voice reassuring her. He could always make her feel better. He was the _only_ one who could make her feel better.

"Jill?"

She turned at the sound of Willie's voice, and was surprised to see him standing.. She could see bruises on his face, and his lip was split.

"Willie!" She said wrapping her arms around him. "You look terrible." She turned and said over her shoulder. "Someone get him a bed!"

They swarmed him, then. Pulling over a bed, and pushing him onto it. His eyes grew wide with frustration.

"I tried . . ." His voice bore the stress of those fifty hours, and all that it had taken to get them out. "Jill, I'm sorry. I tried to get him out." She moved closer as he struggled to maintain eye contact with her even as they began to examine him. "Jill, I swear. I did everything I could."

"It's okay, Willie. It's okay." She said trying to sooth him. "Let them take care of you. You did get him out. It's okay, now."

She called out reassurances to him even as they wheeled him away, even as he continued to apologize.

And then it was quiet again, and she was all alone.

Except she wasn't alone, really. Although, the head nurse had disappeared with the emergency team, Melissa had stayed behind. She stood across from her, watching, and no doubt trying to determine what to do next. And not two feet from her stood the improbable presence of Lieutenant Eddie Ryker.

The first time she'd ever met him, she'd felt incredibly wary of him. Actually, her first thought had been, _"You better recognize what a good man Mike is or I'm coming after you! And you sure as hell, better keep him safe!"_ He had seemed so gruff and formal, but over time she had been able to look beyond the outer layer, and had discovered a tremendous sweetness. Once he told her of his wife and daughter - both forever lost to him - she understood that his connection to her, and to Mike, wasn't typical. And now, out of all the millions of people running around planet earth, she was amazed to realize that she was deeply comforted to see Lieutenant Edward Ryker standing at her side.

"There's a waiting room around the corner, right?" He asked moving closer to her. "Why don't we go sit down?" He moved to put his arm around her. "Come on, honey." He said when she stood where she was frozen, and staring at him. "Jill?"

"Was it a chest wound?" She managed to gasp out.

"I don't . . I don't know." He told her truthfully. "There wasn't time . . .he was . . . let's go sit down."

"I can't . . my feet won't . . ." She found sentences or even complete ideas impossible. Her heart and mind consumed with the dual images of Mike's face leaning in for a kiss, and his chest covered in blood. She knew all pretense of strength was over, then. She had nothing left - not one ounce of strength to fight off the all-encompassing soul crushing fear that she had been battling since the phone had interrupted their dinner. She fell forward and found herself sobbing uncontrollably in the strong, comforting arms of Eddie Ryker.

***R***

"Mind if I sit with you?" Terry Webster leaned on his crutches in front of Jill Danko.

"Terry! You shouldn't be up!" She said surprised.

"So, I can sit down then?" He teased her and folded himself into a chair.

"You've got to be in pain."

"Not like you." He said seriously, and she turned away from him wiping tears from her eyes. He cleared his throat, changing the subject. "They let me out for an hour 'cause I threw a tantrum."

"Flashed those big brown eyes, you mean." She teased, tears still wet on her cheeks.

"Flexed my muscles is more like it." He grinned at her, but then his face grew sad, and biting his lip he whispered, "I'm sorry, Jill. He's tough as steel."

Saying nothing, her eyes welled with fresh tears and she reached for his hand, squeezing his fingers. He wrapped an arm around her and she leaned her head against his shoulder. He sighed deeply, and kissing her forehead he said, "He'll be alright."

"I just wish I could see him."

"You will, soon." Terry told her. "I heard you saw the kid. They won't let me visit him too. I had to choose - you or him."

"He looked beat up." She said. "He's okay, though. Exhausted. Dehydrated - some bruises and a broken rib."

"I'll see him tomorrow. Give 'em a chance to clean up a bit." Terry said thoughtfully. "He did okay, huh? Our boy got him out. He brought him home to you." He glanced down at Jill who had grown quiet. "He's gonna make it. He will."

Jill Danko nodded her head tearfully, praying with all her heart he was right.


	5. Chapter 5

"Why don't you try and eat something?" Jill Danko looked up to find Nurse Conners standing in front of her.

"No, ma'am. Thank you." She said politely as the head nurse sat down in the chair beside her.

"It is a long surgery in the best of circumstances." Nurse Conners said.

"Yes, ma'am."

"You should rest a little at least. He won't be in recovery for at least three hours. You've been awake for days now, and you'll need your strength when he's recovering. Why don't you go lie down in the nurses lounge? I can stay here and promise to wake you the second there is news."

"Thank you, ma'am, but I don't think I could sleep." Jill said honestly.

"Oh, honey," Nurse Conners said gently while reaching out and pushing a stray hair back behind Jill's ear. "You could fall down right here, if you gave yourself half a chance." She wrapped her thin arm around Jill's shoulder who had been stunned by the head nurse's tender and compassionate demeanor. She found herself leaning into her shoulder, burying her face.

"He's everything." She whispered gently. "You can't know, ma'am. He's my heart."

"I can see it." Nurse Conners said pulling her up and with an arm still around her, leading her to the nurses lounge where they had made up a bed for her. Jill didn't protest, simply followed along, even allowing the head nurse to remove her shoes, and gently tuck her under the blanket that they had laid out on the couch along the far wall.

"You'll tell me . . ." her voice filled with fear.

"Of course." The head nurse told her. "One of the girls will stay in here with you. Don't worry." She put a gentle hand on Jill's shoulder, pushing her down. She was grateful that the girl was cooperating because they had planned on giving her a sedative if this hadn't worked.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I can't seem to . . ."

"Oh, hush child." Elizabeth Conners said. "And for pity sake, if I am tucking you into bed, you can drop the ma'am." She rested a hand against Jill's cheek.

"Yes ma'am." Jill said obediently, bringing a smile to the older nurse's face.

"I swear, you girls get younger by the day. You're just a baby!" She muttered the familiar complaint. "Your husband too! I've got shoes older than you!" She shook her head, and then just before rising and leaving Jill to sleep, she added, "Don't worry, honey. Dr. Keene is with him. He's the best surgeon we've got, and if that husband is anything like you, he's tough as nails and won't be dragged away from you by anything - not even a stupid bullet." She rested her hand on Jill's forehead briefly. She clicked off the lamp beside the couch and nodded at the nurse who sat on a chair near Jill, watching them - shocked and amused by the usually strict head nurse's tender behavior.

"You say one word," The head nurse said fiercely, pointing a long finger at her. "And night duty will be all you see for the next six months!" She turned sharply on her heel and left. Jill Danko was asleep before the door had swung closed.

***R***

Strangely, he felt no pain. Mostly it was confusion that he was experiencing. It had been so cold and dark, but now he felt warm at last. He could sense he was no longer on hard ground either. He felt comfortable, and wanted only to rest and fall back into unconsciousness, but something pulled at the corners of his muddled brain. The soft scent of lilacs. She always smelled like lilacs.

Jill

Knowing she was there, he began to fight with all his might to shake off the fog that held him trapped. Slowly he opened his eyes, and the very first thing he saw was her beautiful, long, dark hair. She was sitting beside him, her head down. He shifted slightly and her head snapped up, her eyes growing wide as she saw he was awake.

"You're awake!" She said, her smile brightening her whole face. Holding his hand in hers, she moved closer so her face was close to his.

"Ha . . .ha . . ."

"Shh. Dont' try to talk." Seeing his fearful eyes she continued quickly, "Willie's okay, too. He got you out. He's okay."

He relaxed then, and closed his eyes briefly.

"Are you in pain?" She asked and he could hear the stress and weakness in her voice. Opening his eyes again he looked at her, really seeing her. She looked terrible. She was disheveled and her face had that strange tight look that she always got when she was upset, but pretending to be fine.

"Hey . . ." He managed, wishing he could sit up and wrap his arms around her.

"Don't talk." She said again, and her eyes welled with unshed tears.

"Ba . . . baby, love . . . you."

It had been a monumental effort to squeeze out those few words, but he had been wanting to say them for so long now - since they'd first been pinned down in that stupid warehouse. Her tears fell then, and he cursed internally that she was crying and he couldn't do anything about it. She held his hand against her cheek and cried. After a minute, she forced herself to regain her composure and leaning over him, ran her soft hand along his face.

"You rest, sweetheart." She told him softly, her voice still full of tears. "You've been really . . .You just rest. I'll be right, here, okay?"

He could manage no more words and could feel the fog settling over him again. He could only squeeze her fingers gently, hoping the warmth of his fingers could tell her everything she needed to know. The last thing he remembered before falling back asleep was her voice so sweet - the sweetest voice of all - whispering in his ear again and again, "I love you, Mike. I love you." It was better than knowing he was safe and out of that godawful warehouse. It was better than the medicine that they were pumping into his badly broken body. He wrapped himself in her words and slept sure in her embrace.

***R***

"Well, you look like hell." Terry said as he crutched his way to the side of Willie's bed.

"You just missed the seven nurses who stopped by just to check on me." Willie said with a grin. "How's the leg?"

"It's cool, man. Got some ugly scars." Terry shrugged. "Girls dig scars."

"They'll be diggin' on me then."

"You gave us a pretty good scare, man. You ok?"

Willie shrugged. "It was a pretty bad deal, all around. How's Mike?"

"He woke up, I guess. I don't know. It was pretty close and they are keeping an eye on him still." He looked down at Willie. "You did good. He wouldn't have got out if it weren't for you."

"No, man." Willie shook his head, embarrassed. "It was covering my sorry butt that got us there in the first place. I've never been so scared . . ."

"If you had waited ten minutes more, Willie . . .everyone was talking about it. That was quick thinking - and I don't know how you dragged him out of there."

"It was what he told me. He said to wait for chaos and then make a break for it, so I did, except he told me to leave him behind."

"The Hero." Terry said laughing. "I swear, Mike's even an overachiever when it comes to getting himself nearly killed."

"Got that right." Willie looked up. "How's Jill?"

"The Titanic is in better shape." Terry ran a hand over his face. "She didn't eat, didn't sleep - hell, I don't even think she sat down the whole time. She kept hanging around here, fussing over me. You know, about ten seconds after Ryker tells her Mike's been shot - she was asking about you!"

"He told me that." The two men were quietly thoughtful for a few minutes, until Willie finally added quietly, "Not enough flowers in the world for a cop's wife."

"That's damn straight." Terry agreed.

***R***

Lt. Ed Ryker walked slowly down the hospital corridor. He had just left the room of Officer Gillis who fell asleep about two sentences into Ryker's visit. Ryker had left the room shaking his head, amazed yet again at how young his rookies were. Seeing Gillis curled asleep, he could easily imagine him clutching a teddy bear.

Reaching his destination, he knocked softly on the door before stepping inside. The room was dim and quiet. Officer Danko appeared to be asleep, as well, and glancing around he saw that Mrs. Danko was curled into a small ball asleep in the chair beside his bed, one hand clutching his. Ryker smiled and stepped closer.

"Shh." Mike whispered, surprising Ryker. "She's worn out."

"So are you, Danko. Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Ryker whispered back.

"I was." Mike replied. "Waiting for the pain meds to kick in, I guess."

"You need a nurse?" Ryker asked.

"I got a nurse." He grinned and nodded at his sleeping wife.

"You do, indeed." Ryker agreed. "You need anything?"

"No, sir. Thank you."

"You are welcome." Ryker shifted from one foot to the other uncomfortably.

"Especially, for taking care of Jill. It's good to know if anything ever . . ."

"Officer Danko," Ryker interrupted raising his voice to a loud whisper. "If you ever do something stupid like get yourself shot again, I will personally come after you and kick your backside from here to Nova Scotia. You put that little girl through hell, so shut up and rest. Do every damn thing the doctors tell you without any argument! Get better because if you don't, I will personally come down here and babysit you to make sure you do!"

"Yes, sir." Mike said suppressing a grin.

"Alright, then." Ryker nodded his head. "Tell your wife, I'll be back in the morning to take her home. She needs real sleep, and Webster said he'd babysit you while she rests."

"Yes, sir."

"Fine, then. Good to see you Danko."

"And you, sir." Mike hesitated, glancing at Jill, who still slept. "I wasn't too sure I would again."

"You and me, both Danko." Ryker sighed. "You and me both."


	6. Chapter 6

They had convinced her to go home and rest, but to be honest, she wasn't all that comfortable with the idea. It was one thing to recognize that Mike was safe, and to acknowledge that she needed to rest. It was something else to walk out the door and away from the hospital; away from him. She only agreed to it, after Lt. Ryker promised that he and Terry would stay with him until her return.

Now, she stood in the center of the living room - alone. She hadn't been inside their home since she had walked out the door, clinging to Lt. Ryker's hand. It felt empty. She crossed the floor and peered into the empty bedroom. It seemed a million years had gone by since she'd last been in this room, secure in Mike's embrace. The memory of their day off together, pained her now. She turned away from the bedroom, and decided on a shower. They had made her promise to stay away for four hours. She doubted she would be able to manage that - but a shower and a change of clothes - then she would go back. She could sleep in his room.

Two and half hours later, she stepped in Mike's hospital room to find Lieutenant Ryker, himself sitting beside Mike.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her, his dark eyes widening in surprise.

"I went home." She replied stubbornly.

"For ten minutes!" He shook his head at her.

"Two hours." He glared at her in response, and sighing she continued. "I don't want to be anywhere else. This . . ." She gestured around the small hospital room. "This is home. He's my home."

"Alright, alright." He said rising and putting a hand on her arm. "You win."

"Has he been awake?" She asked him.

"He woke up once. He didn't complain of any pain. He asked where you were and when I told him that we'd sent you home - he said he was glad someone was making sure you were getting some rest."

"I can rest right here. I rest _better_ here with him."

Ryker didn't say anything right away, just smiled, shaking his head at her. "Mrs. Danko, you are, without a doubt, the most stubborn person I have ever met."

"I think you give me a run for my money." She said with an eyebrow raised.

"That might be true." He admitted. He smiled at Jill's surprise at his quick agreement. "Oh, honey," He said. "Sometimes you make me miss my Mary Kate!" He kissed her cheek. "I'm going to go see how Gillis and Webster and doing." He left her watching after him utterly surprised.

***R***

"I'd go home, but Gillis here gets nervous if I'm not around." Terry said as Lt. Ryker sank down into a chair across from the two officers who sat up in the hospital beds. Webster, was sitting on his made bed, while Gillis, was still tucked under the covers.

"Please! I wish you'd leave and then I could spend some quality time with some of these nurses." Willie grinned at Terry.

"If I leave, they'll stop coming in here."

"Actually, I think it is me they are looking for." Ryker said, surprising them both. "Most women appreciate a man of sophistication." They laughed at this.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Terry asked. "Jill will kill you if she comes back and Mike's all alone."

"Oh, she's back already." Ryker sighed. "She went home for two hours! That is one stubborn lady."

"Yep." Terry agreed. "Did she look any better?"

"Some. She's lost that look of sheer terror she's been wearing. I tell you what, Gillis, I am grateful you got Danko out of there. I think we would have lost her too, if we lost him." Ryker shook his head.

"That's for damn sure." Terry agreed. "It's about time you got out of there! I couldn't take one more minute looking at those big, brown terrified eyes." He shook his head at the memory.

"Now, the trick will be convincing her to let Mike back out on patrol." Willie said.

"The trick will be convincing her to let _any_ of you back out on patrol." Ryker said rising. "You boys rest up. I'll be back tomorrow. If Jill comes by you tell her for me, alright. We'll worry about going back on patrol later; give the woman at least a few hours of peace, huh?"

"Yes, sir." Terry and Willie responded.

They watched the Lieutenant go, and Terry was struck by the memory of the first time he'd ever met Lieutenant Edward Ryker. He'd been terrified of the man; he'd been so harsh and intimidating. He still was, but Terry understood that underneath it all, he was fiercely protective and loyal to the men who served under his watchful eye.

"What are you so serious about?" Willie asked him.

"I was thinking about training. Who knew we'd like him so much?" Terry asked with a shrug.

"I'm still scared of him." Willie admitted.

"Oh, me too." Terry agreed. "But not in the same way. Now, I just don't want to let him down."

"Do you think they'll let me go see Mike tomorrow?" Willie asked. "Everyone says he's better, but I'd like to see for myself. Those last few hours in that damn warehouse . . ." He shuddered, remembering. "God! It was awful. He kept asking me to tell Jill . . . It was bad, Terry. He looked so . . .I was sure he was gonna die."

"He didn't." Terry said simply. "As to visiting him, the nurses like me so I'll see what I can do."

"There's only one nurse you are gonna have to convince to let us near him."

***R***

Jill Danko opened her eyes to find her husband smiling at her.

"Hey, sleepyhead." He said grinning.

"Mike!" She sat up rubbing her eyes, and moved to sit beside him on the hospital bed.

"I thought you were never gonna wake up." He said with a grin.

"You should have woke me!" She said horrified that she'd been asleep while he'd been awake. "How do you feel?"

"I've felt better." He admitted. "But I imagine we can find a nurse to look after me."

"I might know one." She said smiling, but then without any warning she found herself crying.

"Hey, hey, Babe." He said reaching for her hands. "It's okay. I'm alright. I'll be fine. Doctors even said so."

"I know. I don't know why I'm crying now!" She laughed even as she continued to cry. "God! It was so awful! I just paced back and forth over and over, holding my breath."

"I'm sorry, Baby. I am." She said nothing, helpless in the grip of a fresh wave of tears. He reached out with gentle fingers, wiping her tears.

"I'll confess it to you now, honey, I was pretty scared myself." He told her softly. "I couldn't think of anything but you, and coming home to you."

Unable to speak, she leaned in close, resting her forehead against his.

"Mike, I don't ever want to be away from you. I couldn't ever lose you." Her voice was a strained whisper.

"You won't." He said trying to reassure her. She sat up, wiping the tears from her face, and he gave her his best smile, trying to somehow erase the hours of fear and terror.

"I thought you were going to go home and get some real sleep." He said changing the subject.

"It was too lonely, there." She admitted. "Everyone I love is here! Terry and Willie aren't home, and you are here. And I couldn't climb into that bed without you."

"I'd rather climb in with you." He grinned up at her with a wink.

"Michael!" She said reprovingly.

"Sorry, Babe. Just telling the truth." He reached out, running his finger along the line of her cheek. "You are so beautiful. I've been dreaming of those brown eyes of yours for the last two days."

"Three." She corrected him softly.

"Four. It didn't stop when they brought me here." He told her. She leaned down kissing him, fighting down a fresh tide of tears.

"You should sleep." She said to him, sitting up, and smoothing the blankets across his broad chest. "Close your eyes, Michael. You need rest."

"I'm half afraid if I close my eyes and sleep, it will all just be a dream and I'll be back in that horrible warehouse, holding onto Willie's grubby fingers, instead of yours." He confessed, sheepishly.

"I'll be right here, sweetheart. I'm not leaving." She said running her cool fingers across his forehead. "Close your eyes, sweetheart."

"You are so beautiful." He said again as his eyes drifted shut. "I'm sorry for scaring you, Jill. Baby, I am."

"I'll forgive you, seeing as how you are still alive." She said softly, watching his blue eyes close. "Don't you dare make me a cop's widow, Michael. I won't ever forgive you."

"I'll keep it in mind, Babe." He said sleepily.

"You damn, well better." She whispered as he drifted to sleep. When he was asleep, she moved to the chair beside his bed, sliding her hand under his.

The door opened, and Nurse Conners stepped into the room. She glanced at Jill, but focused on Mike, checking his vitals and writing on his chart. She finished, clicking her pen shut, and turned to Jill then.

"I hope you don't expect to be off rotation forever."

"No ma'am." Jill said startled by the sharp tone of the head nurse.

"You're one the best nurses who has ever worked under me. I can't have you gone forever."

Surprised by the praise, Jill blushed. "Yes, ma'am."

"That's alright, then. I imagine they'll send him home at the end of week, so I'll put you back on rotation in three weeks."

"Yes ma'am." Jill found she was so intimidated by the tone of the head nurse, she couldn't seem to manage many words. She was too tired.

"You still look a wreck." Nurse Conners said turning to go, but pausing to brush a stray hair that had fallen across Jill's forehead. "I'm so relieved that he is safe. You must be ready to cry buckets. I can see it hiding there behind your eyes." She sighed. "You haven't got your mother any longer, have you?"

"She died when I was a girl." Jill said shocked by the question.

"Your husband's mother?" But Jill shook her head. "That Lieutenant who's always looking after you - does he have a wife?"

"She died long ago." Jill said.

"I suppose I'll have to do." She sighed. "You feel yourself coming unglued, you come and find me. That's an _order_, Nurse Danko. You can't confess to him how afraid you still are, and everyone else looking out for you are cops; they can't understand it. It's a fear you have to accept and learn to live with. It's the deal you make, if you love a cop."

"Your husband is a cop?" Jill asked, surprised at how clearly the head nurse seemed to understand things.

"My oldest son was." And Jill was stunned by the sorrow in Nurse Conners' voice. "He was killed in the line of duty." She rested her hand on the top of Jill's head. "And I pray to God, I never have to guide you down that path." She leaned down and kissed Jill's forehead.

But rising she was all business again, brusque and sharp. "You got three weeks Nurse Danko, and then I expect to see you rested and back on my floor."

"Yes, ma'am." Jill said quietly thinking there was so much more to Head Nurse Elizabeth Conners than she had ever imagined.


	7. Chapter 7

_I am pleased to see that there are some Rookies fans out there who have been reading this story. If you have the time, I would appreciate any reviews. I soooo loved The Rookies when I was a kid, and found the small collection of stories here. I just recently purchased both season one and two. I sure hope they release season three soon. Anywho, like I mentioned, I would appreciate any reviews._

***R***

Jill Danko was laughing as she brought the rolls from the kitchen to the table where her husband, Willie and Terry sat.

"I nearly forgot them!" She said sitting down at last.

"There's plenty here, Babe." Her husband said surveying the table covered in food.

"Speak for yourself." Willie said reaching for a roll.

Jill shook her head. She was often impressed with just how much Willie could consume. She once turned her back on him for just five minutes and he had eaten an entire pie. It was a pretty astonishing feat.

"So how was your first week back on patrol?" Terry asked Mike, who still looked a little bit too pale and too thin, for Jill's taste.

"Ryker was giving me light duty until I finally put my foot down." He glanced nervously at Jill. "Of course, at least one of the Danko's would prefer desk duty."

"I can imagine." Terry said with a wink at Jill. "Still, you can't fight gravity Jill. You married a man with a hero complex."

"I am aware." She said with a shake of her head. "I suppose it would be unfair for me to keep him chained to a desk at the precinct." She glanced at him, trying to see him as he was, and not lying in a hospital bed covered in blood. "Although," She reached under the table giving his knee a gentle squeeze. "It is mighty tempting."

"Don't worry, Jill." Willie said to her. "Mike here is too slow moving these days to get into any _real_ trouble. He's so out of shape! By the time he gets to a scene, the action is all over."

"Hey!" Mike said punching Willie's arm. "You wanna see what kind of shape I'm in? I'll show you, kid!"

"Don't hurt yourself, old man!"

They were all still laughing over this when the phone rang. Jill, who was closest to the phone, rose, still laughing and answered it. She was expecting a call from her sister, or maybe even the head nurse, who had taken to calling her during her off duty hours just to check on her and see how she was managing things.

***R***

Since Mike's release, Liz Conners had made good on her promise to keep an eye on Jill. And truth be told, more than once Jill had been deeply comforted by her talks; especially in those first few days after Mike had gone back on duty. It had been all she could manage to watch him walk out the door that first day.

"_Well, I guess I'm back at it." He had said rising from breakfast. "The fellas said they'd meet me downstairs."_

_Jill said nothing, simply nodding her head. She swallowed hard, and rising went into the kitchen. He followed her, and she handed him a paper bag._

"_Thanks.'" He said and still she said nothing in response. She kept her head low, her eyes avoiding his. "Hey," He said gently. "We talked about this last night. If it is too hard for you, I can wait another day."_

"_No." Her voice came out in a shaky whisper. "A day won't matter." She looked up at him then, and seeing her frightened eyes made him feel as though he'd been punched in the gut. _

_He reached out, lifting her chin with his fingers so that she was looking him square in the eyes. He watched her battle down tears, and then finally she said, "I'll see you at dinner."_

"_Yeah." He said awed by her strength of will. He knew she was terrified. He knew everything inside of her wanted to plead and beg for him to stay home and never, ever go out there again, but instead she handed him his lunch, ready to send him on his way._

"_I'll see you tonight, Babe." He said setting his lunch aside and holding her face in his hands. She said nothing, but leaned her forehead against his. She held onto his arms with trembling fingers. Finally, at last she lifted her head and giving his cheek a quick kiss, she handed him his lunch again._

"_Have a good day, Mike." She said as she followed him to the door._

_He had wanted to tell her how much he admired her. He wanted to say how much he loved her, but they had talked about it late into the night, as she lay tucked in his arms. She had been clear on this point - leave like it is any other morning - no fuss - no grand declarations of love. She said she hoped that she would be able to manage it without becoming a mess of sobbing tears. He stepped out into the hallway as the door closed behind him, and he tried not to imagine her standing there, holding her breath; waiting. He knew that he had resigned her to a lifetime of waiting. Sighing he looked up to see Terry standing waiting for him._

"_The kid's downstairs." Terry said. "You okay?"_

"_Yeah." Mike said._

"_What about Jill?" Terry asked._

_Mike shook his head, and said with a shrug, "The things we do to women."_

***R***

"Hello?" Jill said into the phone.

"Mrs. Danko, this is Lt. Ryker. I am sorry to interrupt your evening, but I am afraid I need to speak to your husband."

"Ye . . .yes." She said trying to hide the slight hesitation in her voice. "He's . . .he's right here." She turned to them and held the phone out to Mike saying only, "It's for you."

She sat down heavily in her chair, suddenly no longer hungry. She kept her eyes down, knowing that both Terry and Willie were watching her.

"Yeah." Mike was saying. "Okay. No, they are right here. I'll tell them. Yes, sir."

_Yes, sir_. Sometimes she couldn't think of two words she hated more than _yes, sir_. Those two damn words dominated her life. She sighed and looked up surprised to see that Terry and Willie had left, and that Mike was kneeling beside her.

"I gotta go, Baby." He said gently. "I'm really sorry."

"I feel like we've had this conversation before." She said trying to laugh.

"Yeah, I know." He sighed. "It's nothing dangerous, Jill. They just need as many men as they can. There's some protesters down near the ware. . ." He stopped himself realizing that the last piece of information wouldn't comfort her one bit.

"It's always dangerous, Michael." She said softly. "Always." She bit the inside of her lower lip, trying to somehow make herself braver than she felt. He didn't need to be worried about her. He couldn't afford to be distracted by thinking about her at all. "Go, on, Danko." She said making her voice sound so much stronger than she felt.

"Hey, baby . . ." He began.

"I think you staged this whole thing just to escape eating my quiche. I know you don't like it, but a group of crazed protesters? That's pretty excessive. Next time, just tell me you'd rather skip it." She smiled at him, but one tear had somehow escaped, and he said nothing, brushing it away with his thumb.

"You know how I feel about broccoli, Babe." He said playing along.

"I guess I just didn't understand how deep those feelings ran." She rose on shaky legs, walking him to the door.

"I'll be home later." He said as they reached the front door, he reached out to pull her to him, but she stepped away.

"I can't." She whispered. "Michael, I swear. I'll fall apart."

He nodded and put his hands down. She drew in two deep gulps of air, and then said, "I'll see you later."

"Okay." His blue eyes grew misty. "Okay. I'll wake you when I get in. Don't watch the news, huh? They never get things right, and they always blow things out of proportion."

She nodded her head. "Bye."

"See you later, Baby." He stepped out into the hall closing the door behind him. He moved quickly down the hall, afraid that if he hesitated, he'd go back inside and never leave.

"Mike!" He turned to see her standing at the end of the hall, her hand on the open door.

"Yeah, Babe?" He stood where he was waiting.

"I love you." She said struggling to keep herself from crying. "I wanted to say that."

"I love you, too." He said surprised by the strength of his own emotions. "And I'll be home later. Alright, Baby? I'll be home."

Unable to respond, she nodded her head and he turned away from her, his pace quickening with each stride. _The things we do to women_. He thought again, but with each step he tried to forget her pale features trembling, as she fought to keep tears from spilling out of her big, frightened, brown eyes. Instead he focused on the task before him, and so with each step felt the burdens and anguish of husband fade to the background, as _Officer_ Danko moved to the foreground.

Jill Danko leaned against the closed door, closing her eyes, and taking in deep breaths. She pushed down her tears, and turned sharply, attacking the dishes with a vengeance. She swept the front room, and folded a long-ignored stack of laundry, but still her terror didn't abate. She glanced up at the clock. He'd been gone for forty-five minutes. She laughed bitterly. She was never, ever going to make it. Grabbing her sweater, she surrendered to the inevitable and raced out of the apartment.

***R***

Liz Conners was just putting notes on her last report when she heard the door to her office open. Looking up, she was not at all surprised to find Nurse Danko standing in front of her. The girl looked pale and terrified.

"I thought it was your night off?" She asked sternly.

"It is." The girl hesitated nervously. "I was wondering if I could buy you a cup of coffee?"

Liz studied the young nurse. She'd been impressed with Jill Danko from her very first day at Memorial. Some women seemed to have a sixth sense about nursing. They knew what to do almost instinctively. It was something that was impossible to teach student nurses; they either had it or they didn't. Like a skill that had been passed down from one tribal healer to the next, it was a gift outright. Jill Danko clearly had it. But in the years that she had watched the young nurse work, she'd been reminded so much of her young daughter-in-law. Jill Danko was stubborn and determined. She kept her fears about her husband tucked away and hidden. Lucy had done the same, and Liz had simply left it alone. She hadn't wanted to make her sons' wife uncomfortable so she had never pushed. But now, even all these years after her son's death, it was something she regretted. She wished she had done a better job of being there for her daughter-in-law. Perhaps, if she had, she wouldn't have moved back to Kansas to be with her mother, taking her sweet baby grandson with her. Seeing Jill Danko so young and so clearly devoted to her husband, brought up so many of Liz's regrets. Lucy had struggled alone, just like Jill - no doubt never, ever admitting to anyone how often she cried herself to sleep worrying over whether or not her husband would come home.

She closed the file on her desk, clicking out the lamp. Pushing her hands against the desk, she rose. Grabbing her purse from a drawer she said, "Well, from the looks of things, I don't think coffee is the best choice." She moved from behind the desk and stood in front of Jill who had turned to face her. "You look to me like a woman who could use a good drink."

Jill's eyes widened in surprise. "Yes, ma'am." She said laughing. "I sure as hell could."

"Alright then. I suppose for decorum's sake you better wait for me downstairs. I can't have my student nurses thinking they'll get to go out drinking with me too." She grinned at Jill.

"Yes, ma'am." Jill said turning and leaving. "I'll be downstairs."

Jill left the small office feeling oddly happy. Her panic and worry over Mike was still there. It was always there, and would always be. It was part of the deal. She understood that. And maybe for now, leaning on Nurse Conners like she was, was a kind of weakness. But at least she wasn't alone, worried, and isolated like she had been. She thought briefly of the upcoming group of police academy graduates wondering if any of them were married. If so, she thought, perhaps it was time for a new breed of cop's wife to go along with the new breed of cop. She certainly would be more than happy to turn to the wife of a brand new officer and say, "You don't have to pretend you aren't terrified. I am, too. We all are." She knew she found it unbelievably comforting to be able to turn now to someone who understood.

It didn't even matter if they talked about the massive terror inside her. They didn't need to. She didn't have to explain it. Liz Conners had lived it herself. It was enough to know that someone else, another woman had battled the same fears, and survived.

Later tonight, when Mike at last returns home to her she will curl into his arms so grateful that she will be unable to hold back the tears she is managing, even now, to keep at bay. He will comfort her the best he can with his strength; his words; his promises, his body - even though he, too, is burdened down with his own battles. His need to continue to be a police officer ever at war with his guilt for the anguish it brings her; a fight she can no more truly understand than he can understand her daily terror. But they will continue to love each other, accepting things as they are. She will take tremendous comfort and strength from the safety of his arms.

But for now she will wait, but not alone. She will wait with all the other mothers, sisters, and wives of police officers. She will wait in the silent company of all those who dread the ringing of the phone, or fear to hear a sharp quick knock at the door as a man in a dark uniform stands just outside with words on his lips that will shatter her world into a million broken pieces. She will wait in the company of a friend who understands, a member of the silent sisterhood of patient waiting. And somehow she will manage the strength she needs so that she can wait for tomorrow; praying with all her heart that tomorrow comes.

She is forever waiting. Waiting to hear the low, mellow rumble of his voice. She is waiting to feel his strong fingers brush her hip as he pulls her close into a comforting embrace, reassuring her that he is safe again. She is waiting for his beautiful, bright blue eyes to smile into hers. She is waiting for the dawn and the hope that the light of day will bring.

She is waiting for tomorrow.


End file.
